To marry or to be merry?

I remember when I was still in college, I always say that I will get married when I reach my 24th year. When I was 24, I was still waiting for the right man to come. I said to myself, maybe he will come when I get to my 26th year. After two years, somebody came along but he was the worst nightmare I could ever get. I even lost my hope saying that I was too old to be fooled by a damn and crazy man. After three months of stupidity and waste of emotional investment, I came to my senses and thought I can do better than this. Good thing, someone who is really far better than him came along. He is even the exact opposite of my ex. I never thought that God will give me someone who will accept me as I am. He may not be the perfect man for me but I am sure that he will love me no matter what.

After two years, he proposed and that was the biggest decision I have made. I gave in to that proposal because firstly, I love him and I was assured that he will love me forever. Second, I think that I am old enough to start my own family. Third, I am so excited to to be a wife and a mother. But I did not realize that being married means bigger responsibilities. It is not that I am not used to responsibilities but being a daughter and a sister is far different that being a wife.

Marriage entails a lot of adjustments. Before, I am used to deciding for myself, and now I have to consult my husband. We are just a small family so it took a long time before I have adjusted to my husband's bigger family including his extended family. It was like changing my whole self. Yes, changing my "self".

Most of the girls I knew think of marriage like a fairy tale or a love story in a movie with always a good ending . In a real world, it's not like finding your knight in shining armor. Most of them realized in the end that they should also be their own "knight in shining armor".

Being married means being a partner. It is choosing someone who will be a witness to all the greatest things that you will accomplish, your successes and even your failures. Having a happy married life always depend on you. If you let it be a burden to you, it will. Like what they always say, you make your own life. The bottom line is, if you want to have a merry married life, choose the best partner who can offer it to you. Choosing the right person is your key to a happy married life.

I got married in my early thirty and we are still together for five years already. I must say that my life is more challenging and colorful, and I got to know myself better. It is like discovering something new everyday about everything, my self, my husband, my life, my interests and my dreams.

My favorite person

If there is someone that I admire most, it is my mother. I have known other great mothers but I think Mama is the best.

She is a very understanding and kind person, and always sees the good in everyone. Even though there were times that I did not become the good daughter as I should be, she still believes in me and assures me that she still accepts me no matter how bad I do. I think most adult people goes through stages of rebellion during their youth, I am one of them.

She is a very jolly and accommodating person that she always makes everyone comfortable when she is around. She makes it a point that she knows our friends in school or work. Whenever we or our relatives have visitors, she is always there to entertain them. That is the reason why our relatives’ friends are also her friends.

She is a very patient mother and wife. Like I’ve said, I am not a very good daughter but still she did not give up on me neither to my father. My father has also his shares of machismo syndromes like every dominant father in the world, that sometimes I hate my mother for being a very patient wife to him. I remember when I was a child, I have witnessed how my mother suffered so much that she nearly gave up her career as a teacher. But she realized that my father will not be able to support us financially, so she pursued her masteral degree just to be promoted and have her salary increased.

Like what they usually says, good people die young. In 1996, my mother had an infection that resulted to an ovarian cancer. Like every cancer patient, she has to undergo therapies and treatments. The chemotherapy did not work for her but at least prolonged her life. She died on my birthday in 2001. A few weeks before she died and she was already bedridden and very weak at that time, I always remind her of my coming birthday.

For a time, I regretted that I did not spend more time with her. I blamed myself for not being a good daughter. But at least I was there during her last breath and I was able to ask forgiveness. I am sure Mama with her very understanding and kind heart has forgiven me.

Things I want to do before I turned 40

I read an article of Bo Sanchez about the things he wants to accomplish before he turns 50. I suddenly realized that I also need to think of my future. I need to set my goals and priorities. I just turned 36 and I still do not plan for my future. I don't know what I want to accomplish when I turned 40.

Let me start now..........Before I get to my 40s, I want to:

• stay as beautiful and young-looking as I am today. (really, hah)
• be rich by establishing my own business. I don't want to be an employee for the rest of my life. What kind of business? That is what I have to think seriously.
• try harder to be a better wife. I know I have my flaws as a wife, but I am not that perfect.
• travel to Australia to visit my relatives and again to Japan with my husband. I want him to see the beautiful places that I've visited.
• travel to Batanes, Boracay, Puetro Galera, Palawan, Subic and other popular places in the Philippines.
• publish a book about women. I want it to be a tribute to brave women like Mama.
• be a mother. I am presently seeing an OB specializing in fertility. I hope we'll make it before the year ends. And before I turn 40, I wish I can have two (2) kids, a girl and a boy.
• work again as a part-time instructress. I want to have a part-time career in teaching.
• finish a course in Women Studies.
• buy even a small vacation house in the province and a condo unit in Metro Manila.
  

I still have 4 years to do all of these. However, I think I would have a hard time accomplishing all of these things in 4 years. Maybe I should extend this to 10 more years. But who knows? I just pray that God will give me continuous strength and perseverance.